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God meant for marriage to be happy and fulfilling. Solomon said it this way: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). God wouldn’t have brought a woman to Adam if a wife wasn’t a good thing for him. A marriage is meant to be a live, active picture of the relationship of Jesus Christ with the church, His bride.
During courtship a man knows very little about the woman. Maybe he’s attracted, at least at first, because she’s pretty. Both parties are on their best behavior. After marriage reality becomes a teacher. The man’s bride is more than just a pretty face. She is a work in progress, as is the new husband. Each has a set of strengths and of weakness, and that presents a challenge. For the Spirit-filled child of God that challenge is a blessing for at least two reasons.
First, the new relationship shows the new husband needs and weaknesses in his own heart and life that he was never aware of. Weaknesses that he might not even have been aware of are now impossible to hide or ignore, and now they must be dealt with. If as a single man he was careless in the way he spent money, no big deal; but now he must be careful because careless spending hurts his family. If as a single man he had the tendency to run late for appointments he was only hurting himself, but now that failure hurts his family, so that weakness must be dealt with.
Second, the marriage relationship teaches a man to be unselfish as Christ is unselfish. His time is no longer his own. He has to share his time with his family. His money is no longer his own to do with as he pleases. He has to be sure that the needs of his family are met before he can spend anything on himself. In short, marriage is a life-long-lesson about serving others, just as Jesus was when He said, “…thee Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister…” (Matthew 20:8).
