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God meant for brothers and sisters to be a blessing. That’s not always what happens, but that’s what God intends. The Bible is full of examples of brothers and sisters, both good and bad. Most of the examples are bad ones. That is sad, but it is a reality. We must examine the sad and bad examples so that we can avoid having such examples in our own homes.
First, the bad examples. There was Cain who murdered his own younger brother. There were sisters Rachel and Leah who became rivals competing for the love of the same man. There was Jacob who cheated his brother Esau, and there was Esau who wanted to kill his brother. There were the sons of Jacob who sold their brother Joseph into slavery in Egypt. And there was the older brother who was angry that his father received his younger prodigal brother back home again. Unfortunately there are many more examples of brotherly rivalry than of brotherly love.
All the bad examples had something in common: jealousy, selfishness, pride, and anger. These are the qualities which take the relationship of brotherhood, which God meant as a blessing, and turn it into a rivalry. It begins with the fallen, sinful nature which each of us is born with. We tend to naturally think that life is all about us, what we want, what we can get for ourselves, and what we think will make us happy.
But not all the examples were bad. Although his siblings were mean to him, Joseph was very kind and compassionate towards his brothers. The seven sons and three daughters of Job, when they were grown, loved getting together and feasting together. The Apostle Andrew brought his brother, Simon Peter, to meet the Lord Jesus. Martha, Mary and Lazarus were a very solid, loving household. What made the difference? These all valued a deep relationship with God and with his Son Jesus Christ. As the Apostle John wrote, “If any man say, ‘I love God,’ and hateth his brother, he is a liar” ( I John 4:20). Actually, it is not our love. It is the God in us loving the other, whether they love us in return or not.
So then, what is the answer? First, Mom and Dad must have a deep, earnest, loving relationship with God, which will result in God in each of the parents loving each other, so that Mom and Dad never exchange cross and angry words. Then, based on this example, the parents must use every opportunity to encourage each child to grow deeper in each day in his relationship with God. There is no reason why a small child cannot have a deep, loving relationship with God. Then there will be no room in the child’s heart heart for jealously, selfishness, pride, and anger. Then brotherhood and sisterhood can be the blessing which God meant for them to be.
