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Besides a man’s relationship with God Himself, the most important relationship in a man’s life is that with his wife. Marriage was God’s idea, and marriage is only what God says it is. Jesus Christ said, “He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh'” (Matthew 19:4, 5). Marriage is meant to be a beautiful picture of the loving relationship of Jesus Christ with His church.
The agents of Satan work hard to pervert God’s beautiful institution of marriage. Satan tries to turn marriage into an institution of the government because, if marriage belongs to the government, that means the government can redefine marriage as a relationship between two men, or two women, or several men with several women, or humans with animals, or whatever. But God has not changed His mind about what marriage is. To pervert the definition of marriage is filthy blasphemy, and those who do so, if they never repent, will face the fierce wrath of an angry God on judgment day.
Unfortunately, the failure rate of marriage is very high, even among professing Christians, and things get worse year by year. Many marriages are doomed before they even start because they neglect two important factors: that of getting the right spouse, and that of being the right spouse. The correct starting place is that both parties must be born-again Christians, walking closely with God.
Only with God’s help can a man get the right spouse. Before marriage, a man or a woman may be on his best behavior, but only God knows what’s in the heart, and whether that person is for real or just pretending. Of all the billions of women alive in the world today, only one is set aside by God for any certain man. There are many good women in the world, but only with God’s help can a man find the one that is right for him. Isaac needed God’s help to find Rebekah. Boaz needed God’s help to find Ruth. Joseph needed God’s help to find Mary. As I once told a young teenager, “If you let God choose for you, God isn’t going to give you something you don’t like.” To have God’s leading and direction in this important issue, a man must first make sure his own relationship with God is clean and strong, and that must be his first and greatest priority. After that, a man can constantly ask God, “Please give me Your best.”
Even more important than getting the right spouse, a man must be the right spouse. Are you the kind of man that you would like your daughter to be married to? Nobody loves you wife more than God does. Does God like the way you are treating His precious daughter for whom Christ died? Do you speak in anger? Do you tell demeaning stories to others that might embarrass her?
One common character flaw which destroys many marriages is the disposition of the man who thinks that it is up to him to subjugate his wife, to make her feel that she is inferior and must therefore obey him and follow his leadership because he is superior to her. The result is that the wife will resent his leadership and only obey grudgingly. She will be miserable and will think that her husband tricked her into marrying him. That is so very different from the character of Jesus Christ and the way He treats His bride. The husband should constantly ask God’s help to make his wife glad that she married him. The husband’s goal should be to make his wife think that marrying him was the smartest thing that she ever did.
